The Deputy, S1, E9, minute 40.

Yesterday Sister J and I had an amazing discussion.

Sister: What is nonbinary?

Me: Neither male nor female

Sister: Hmmm, Bishop, The Deputy, Hulu, is nonbinary... Seriously, your thesis just hit home. The Deputy, S1, E9, minute 40. Not knowing the show, and not understanding the dynamics with the characters, I seriously think you should go to Hulu right now, look up the show and go to the one I told you about. Tell me this isn't everything that your thesis is about.

Me: (goes and watches) OMG I wanna hug that sheriff for saying the exact right things Bishop needed in that moment of self-discovery. It's the same thing I tell the kids in my student organization all the time, “only you can decide who you are and only you can define who you are and at the end of the day you are who you are and everybody else's opinion doesn't matter.”

Sister: I just don't know how to teach that way. I don't know how to make my colleagues aware in that manner. I want to include everyone in the identity that they feel most welcome, but I don't know if I'm screwing it up."

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Welcome to my TedTalk

Step 1 - Add your pronouns to your email signature and when people ask about it, ask them what is the point of an email signature. It's to tell the person receiving the email who you are. Pronouns are not "preferred," they just are. The same as your name, age, or date of birth. They are part of who you are and how you identify. And if the purpose of an email signature is to tell people who you are, then you are also telling them how they should address you in the third person AND, and this is key, it shows those who are LGBTQ that you get it and are therefore safe.

Step 2 - Stop using gendered language ("ladies and gentlemen", "boys and girls") and start using neutral group terms. You could use "students" "class" "colleagues" "educators" etc. I had a college prof once who used "scholars"

Step 3 - Add a statement of acceptance to your syllabi that shows students and teaching assistants that your room is a safe, accepting, tolerant space and disrespect is not ok. Your school probably has something like this, but it means more when you take the time to add your own.

Step 4 - Instead of calling roll, have students introduce themselves to the class or to someone sitting nearby and then introduce each other to the class. Make sure they include the name they want to be called, first and last and pronouns. Then mark your roster accordingly. That saves you from butchering last names while taking attendance, gets the preferred names, tells you pronouns so you don't screw em up, AND you didn't out anyone!

Step 5 - When choosing materials for class, look for stuff that includes neutral language, but not just gender-neutral, also race and cultural difference. Show as many facets of humanity as you can. When you use example names in class, use neutral ones like Sam, Alex, Morgan, Angel (Spanish pronunciation), Sage, Cameron, Kendall, Amari, etc.

Step 6 - Share these strategies with other educators to help create an inclusive climate.

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Sister: Wow, some I already do, some I hadn't even thought of. I am big on using gender non-specific terms.

Me: The major finding in my thesis is that faculty want to be inclusive, they just don't know how, and nobody is bothering to tell them. Literally, if I thought I could financially afford it and was willing to take the risk, I would go around to schools and do professional development on how to have an inclusive school environment.

Sister: Would it be wrong to post a simple sheet of paper in my room that says, “I accept they and them as easily as I accept him, her, his, and hers. Add no masks, just you. Live your truth.”?

Me: Tell me what you want it to say and I'll make a pretty sign for you

Sister: I'll ask the principal if I could create a bulletin board in the staff lounges centered around wellness. I volunteered to be a part of and participated in the first meeting of the Joint Wellness Committee. I think this is something I really feel will help me to remember what it means to manage my stress. I want to make my campus a pilot as an example of acceptance. We need to feel accepted before we can feel like there is someone we can trust. We ask the students to trust us but that's not always possible if we can't trust each other.

Sister: I’ve been fighting for hand sanitizers in every room since Oct 2019 and finally every classroom will be provided with hand sanitizer and the custodial staff will be sanitizing all door handles. I know this came about because of the fuss I put up. For once I feel like I made a difference. I need to keep that going.