Working from home today

Well, today is my first official work from home day. So far I gave one of my new "coworkers" a haircut and did some website maintenance. Answered several emails already and then just about killed my laptop when I started laughing at this:

https://www.facebook.com/jonnyandrewsx/videos/10217662726974781/

Hope the link works.

As for this weekend, I played a lot of Minecraft. I tried to watch that new Tiger King show but can't really say I enjoyed it. I watched 2 episodes and then just had no desire to watch the rest. If you have watched more of it and it gets better, please let me know.

New coworkers

Have you seen the tweets of people talking about working from home with pets but calling them coworkers? They are fucking amazing.


My coworker keeps insisting she needs to be pet...

I had to try to enroll students while my other coworker screamed at everyone who walked past my office. He clearly takes social distancing seriously. From now on I'm gonna imagine he's saying "go back to your house, we don't want your covid" when he barks.

I'm in the work from home squad now

An email went out that all essential people have been notified today that they are essential.

Anyone who did not get the email is required to work from home until May 1, effective Monday. I did not get an email about being essential.

It looks like I'm in the work from home squad now.

The beautiful part is I don't have to take a bunch of stuff home with me since 99% of what I do is already digital! I feel sorry for the peeps who do similar jobs on campus and still use paper.

Oh, and I will not be held accountable for the emails I send while day drinking!

I had to make a meme!

TFW you have to spend the first 3 hours of the workday un-fucking what other people fucked up even though you gave them all specific instructions on how to do the thing to avoid fucking it up...

When you're in your office and you hear the elevator ding and you know no one else is supposed to be here because of covid...

Accounting sent out an email today telling us that we can now submit paperwork using a PDF copy and, if the person can't sign it, an email will suffice as the signature... so of course I had to make a meme!

My genetics report is ready

I worked from home today, which was actually kinda nice.

I also got an email that my genetics report is ready. It says we are NOT Native American but while that could be true, genetically, our family tree traces us back to the Choctaw Tribe via a Choctaw Freedman, meaning former slave, so that could be anything.

This report says I am 40% German, 17% British Isles, 17% Italian, 9% French, 5% Swedish but then when you go down into the nitty-gritty it also has spatterings of Mexican, Columbian, Puerto Rican, Peruvian, African (Ghana), Sri Lankan, Punjabi, Gujarati, Bengalese, Southern and Northern Han Chinese, and Japanese.

The funny thing is the other reports that tell about my proclivities for health problems and allergies and preferences are all over the place. Some of them are WAY off, totally wrong. Not sure how much value I place in the validity of this test.

Early warning symptom for Covid

So, they have discovered a new early warning symptom for Covid - loss of sense of smell and a diminished sense of taste. That usually comes before the fever and coughing and being aware of this could potentially help limit the spread.

NY Times article for reference

My boss suggested I should take my personal days and go on a road trip, lol. He also suggested I go work remotely in California and stay with my sister for a while. Enrollment started today, can't leave during that. It's a crazy time. Like I told him, I'm going to play things by ear for the next week or so and we'll see how things go.

Not where I want to be right now

8,000 positive tests in NYC. Staggering number. I am trying very hard not to think about it and to just do my social distancing. When I think about it, the anxiety sets in and my irrational brain starts to take over and I head toward survival mode and it's not where I want to be right now.

I took a nap with my doggos instead and played a lot of Minecraft to keep my mind off things this weekend.

I keep waffling between high anxiety and thinking this is all surreal...

"Is that a typo?!"

So today I had to move all of our summer classes to an online format, by order of the university president. The worst part was getting pushback from faculty members about not wanting to teach online. What part of "I don't have a choice, this is required by the President" are people having a problem with?

Meanwhile, I have other faculty who are just doing what they gotta do and also being proactive and reserving zoom accounts all the way through summer... I love those peeps.

Then this afternoon we got an email that said all full-time benefits-eligible employees have been given several hours of paid personal leave to use during this time. That means days off that don’t count against sick leave or vacation time. I kept rereading that email thinking "is that a typo?!"

This conversation may or may not have actually happened

So I may or may not have had a conversation at work that may or may not have included discussion of whether I may or may not be able to do my job from home on an extended basis. The suggestion may or may not have been made that maybe I should stay home and "practice" doing it to be sure.

Um… yeah… I worked from home for a whole week when I had shingles in September. That, apparently, was my dress rehearsal for this. I can do literally everything from home except the paperwork that accounting requires to be actual paper. If they would allow us to do things digitally, I’d be golden.

I am genuinely afraid for my child

New research is showing that people with type A blood are more susceptible to covid and type O are least susceptible, where susceptible means more likely to catch and more likely to die.

Older kiddo has type O blood
Niece has (we think, not sure) type O blood.
Sister B has type O blood.
Brother has type O blood.

I have type A blood.
Hubs has type A blood.
Sister J has type A blood.
Younger kiddo has type A blood, asthma, and a crappy immune system.

I am genuinely afraid for my child.

I am not wearing green on purpose.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. I am not wearing green on purpose. I dare you to try to pinch me. if you do, then we know that you don't know what social distancing means. Yeah, I'm that kind of person.

Also, someone shared this with me, so I'm passing it along. Enjoy!

Everyone has been bombarded with information from the CDC and responsible news organizations about the best ways to slow the spread of the novel coronavirus. Here's a playlist for you to enjoy and perhaps pass along to others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLHE9jrb_N4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8lOLNfnCBg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4c_r5VY8c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGrLb6W5YOM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMFMf9cN64U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WURBeroN54Q

Hooyah Navy!

They didn't cancel my appointment

Well, the good news is they didn't cancel my appointment. The bad news is it fucking sucked. It was fucking torture. I'm glad it's over. Now I just have to hope that the VA takes that information and uses it to determine that I do actually have a service-connected disability.

Oh and then I found out that our campus will remain closed (we’re on Spring Break as of today) until March 30th... but staff still have to go in to work on campus... FML.

I engaged in self-care yesterday by playing Minecraft most of the day. I took the day off work today for that appointment. At least when I go to work tomorrow, I know all of the stuff I have to do will be minimal since I busted my ass getting ahead of things. Originally we were supposed to have this huge event next Monday, but with all this threat of the disease, we canceled it. This week was supposed to all be prep work for that event. Now... nope.

Covid prepping.

I managed to get the shopping done, the rest of the day was shit.

PTSD like a bitch today, just crying over stupid shit, easily frustrated and irritable, etc, feeling like I'm in panic mode, gotta get shit done RIGHT THE FUCK NOW so just trying to finish the required stuff so I can sit back. I went to Walmart after midnight last night getting groceries and supplies for my family so we are good. Pet food was one of the things I bought, as well as flea medication because I don't want to be stuck at home with disease and fleas. We have enough nonperishable food items that only need water for prep to last for a couple weeks should things get bad. I also bought the regular groceries that we normally use.

All day I was in my head and pretty much told everyone to fuck off. Huge kudos to hubs. He took it on himself to not ask me what he could do to help. Being asked how someone can help is triggering for me, I dunno why. He instead went to the garage and did some reorganizing to make space on the shelves for stuff I had bought. Then, when I was ready, he helped me sort the stuff and took the actual groceries upstairs and put them all away while I put the emergency stuff in the garage. I really needed that understanding and space.

Right now, I am just focused on getting through Monday. I will worry about everything else after that.

Please do not let them cancel it.

I am scared. My sister is scared, too.

Sister: It is quiet, confined chaos. Everyone is nervous and anxious as we wait for information. I think we're going to get shut down starting Monday. The unions have been meeting with the superintendent two days in a row now. LA County, San Diego County, and Riverside have all shut down their schools starting Monday. We received a letter from the superintendent yesterday and another one just now canceling pretty much every meeting, field trip, professional development, and any group larger than 250. We are also being told to put learning activities for about 2 weeks online but we can't read them or hold them against a student's grade. I told my student teacher and she got right on it and we're going to offer it as extra credit at least in my classroom. I've also heard a science teacher say there has been nothing like this since 1918 and that no one was prepared or ready for it. One of our own social science teachers said he was watching the president's speech the other night and had serious concerns that he may actually have coronavirus. Said he does not look well. I'm trying to be logical and calm about this, but in truth I'm scared. I got my flu vaccine, so I know if I feel symptoms, what it means. I'm tempted, with three weeks off, to get in the car and come to you right now. a lot of driving, and exposure to people, when I should really hermit myself and just stay in my cave, drink, eat cheez-its, and pretend I'm agoraphobic cause you can't have Armageddon without cheez-its.



I just wanna have my VA eval on Monday, please do not let them cancel it.

This is actually getting real

Been checking the NY Times Covid map every day for a couple weeks now and it's like watching a competition to see which is the last state standing. We're down to only Montana and West Virginia with 0 confirmed cases. I'm putting my money on Montana being last since everyone there already is isolated...

I need to go to Walmart but I am deliberately waiting until like 11:30 when it will be a ghost town.

Sister: Oh shit...our superintendent just basically sent an email telling teachers to move their classes to an online format and be ready. We're going to end up getting shut down. Now I'm starting to get worried. I bought non-refundable tickets to our niece's graduation.

Rumors

Sister: Rumor the district is going to extend our Spring Break to 2 weeks...we have no Covid in our county.  We might though, the fucking choir has a field trip to Spain planned during Spring Break.  I would NOT let my child go right now.

Me: The rumor right now is that when our school comes back from Spring Break we won't be back on campus and instead will work from home, but I dunno.

Still sick

Feeling better, not great.

Kudos to me for recognizing I needed the day off.

Still sick.

Guess it's abs day, lol

Around 4pm at work, I started feeling like I was dumping but I hadn't eaten anything for over 2 hours. Got home, went to the bathroom, threw up and had diarrhea at the same time. My dumping never involves vomit.

I think I ate something my body didn't like. It is getting rid of it. Just finished a second round of coming out both ends at the same time. Guess it's abs day, lol. See you on the other side if I survive this.

Good thing I always wear my hair in a braid, I don't need somebody to hold my hair for me.

Still enjoyed the zoo

Mother fucking sciatica. Didn't even get to see half the zoo, walking so slow, hurts so fucking much. Next time, I'm renting a scooter.

Still enjoyed the zoo though, was really fun.

Sister sent this today:
How weird… I am having lunch out, sitting at a bar, swallowed down the wrong pipe, and started coughing. The guy on the other side of the bar is looking at me.  Now he is taking his order to go. WTF, how paranoid?

Wash Your Hands

I made a thing.

Feel free to take and copy

Hey... whatchu doing on Saturday?

When you message Adventure Friend early on a Thursday morning...

Me: Hey... whatchu doing on Saturday?
Hey
I talkin' you
wake up

Fren: I am awake, I was tracking calories

Me: no fun

Fren: And I'm not sure offhand why

Me: wanna go on a field trip with me?

Fren: Where?

Me: last year for mom's day, my kiddo bought me a Friends of the Zoo membership, I get to go for free whenever I want and bring 1 person and we get unlimited rides too

Fren: Oooooh. Let me look over things, I feel like there was something but it may be something I can do another day

Me: and this Saturday, FotZ members get in early to do a tour of the new elephant expedition that is still under construction and won't open until May and a lil birdie said someone he knows loves eles

Fren: Omg
Omg yes
Omg
Whatever it was is no longer a priority

This is actually happening

I deal with things like this through humor. These memes do nicely.

The state should do evening tornado drills

Today we had the statewide tornado drill. Afterward, I had a little chatty chat with Adventure Friend.

We are of the agreement that the state should also be conducting evening drills. According to the NOAA, “Tornadoes can also happen at any time of day or night, but most tornadoes occur between 4–9 p.m.”

So, in terms of our campus, what about those students here during events and classes at night, they need to know where to go too. Let's be honest here, if it was real, a large portion of the student body would be at the bars, parties, or work and the other portion would be in their dorms. They should do a drill during peak dining hall hours on a Wednesday night when everybody is out doing stuff.

Self-care day

My Dad's dog, Lily, passed away.

Today I took a self-care day and feel better but my back is killing me.

The Deputy, S1, E9, minute 40.

Yesterday Sister J and I had an amazing discussion.

Sister: What is nonbinary?

Me: Neither male nor female

Sister: Hmmm, Bishop, The Deputy, Hulu, is nonbinary... Seriously, your thesis just hit home. The Deputy, S1, E9, minute 40. Not knowing the show, and not understanding the dynamics with the characters, I seriously think you should go to Hulu right now, look up the show and go to the one I told you about. Tell me this isn't everything that your thesis is about.

Me: (goes and watches) OMG I wanna hug that sheriff for saying the exact right things Bishop needed in that moment of self-discovery. It's the same thing I tell the kids in my student organization all the time, “only you can decide who you are and only you can define who you are and at the end of the day you are who you are and everybody else's opinion doesn't matter.”

Sister: I just don't know how to teach that way. I don't know how to make my colleagues aware in that manner. I want to include everyone in the identity that they feel most welcome, but I don't know if I'm screwing it up."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Welcome to my TedTalk

Step 1 - Add your pronouns to your email signature and when people ask about it, ask them what is the point of an email signature. It's to tell the person receiving the email who you are. Pronouns are not "preferred," they just are. The same as your name, age, or date of birth. They are part of who you are and how you identify. And if the purpose of an email signature is to tell people who you are, then you are also telling them how they should address you in the third person AND, and this is key, it shows those who are LGBTQ that you get it and are therefore safe.

Step 2 - Stop using gendered language ("ladies and gentlemen", "boys and girls") and start using neutral group terms. You could use "students" "class" "colleagues" "educators" etc. I had a college prof once who used "scholars"

Step 3 - Add a statement of acceptance to your syllabi that shows students and teaching assistants that your room is a safe, accepting, tolerant space and disrespect is not ok. Your school probably has something like this, but it means more when you take the time to add your own.

Step 4 - Instead of calling roll, have students introduce themselves to the class or to someone sitting nearby and then introduce each other to the class. Make sure they include the name they want to be called, first and last and pronouns. Then mark your roster accordingly. That saves you from butchering last names while taking attendance, gets the preferred names, tells you pronouns so you don't screw em up, AND you didn't out anyone!

Step 5 - When choosing materials for class, look for stuff that includes neutral language, but not just gender-neutral, also race and cultural difference. Show as many facets of humanity as you can. When you use example names in class, use neutral ones like Sam, Alex, Morgan, Angel (Spanish pronunciation), Sage, Cameron, Kendall, Amari, etc.

Step 6 - Share these strategies with other educators to help create an inclusive climate.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sister: Wow, some I already do, some I hadn't even thought of. I am big on using gender non-specific terms.

Me: The major finding in my thesis is that faculty want to be inclusive, they just don't know how, and nobody is bothering to tell them. Literally, if I thought I could financially afford it and was willing to take the risk, I would go around to schools and do professional development on how to have an inclusive school environment.

Sister: Would it be wrong to post a simple sheet of paper in my room that says, “I accept they and them as easily as I accept him, her, his, and hers. Add no masks, just you. Live your truth.”?

Me: Tell me what you want it to say and I'll make a pretty sign for you

Sister: I'll ask the principal if I could create a bulletin board in the staff lounges centered around wellness. I volunteered to be a part of and participated in the first meeting of the Joint Wellness Committee. I think this is something I really feel will help me to remember what it means to manage my stress. I want to make my campus a pilot as an example of acceptance. We need to feel accepted before we can feel like there is someone we can trust. We ask the students to trust us but that's not always possible if we can't trust each other.

Sister: I’ve been fighting for hand sanitizers in every room since Oct 2019 and finally every classroom will be provided with hand sanitizer and the custodial staff will be sanitizing all door handles. I know this came about because of the fuss I put up. For once I feel like I made a difference. I need to keep that going.

Shooting Pointy Things

Today I went to send pointy things through the air to hit not pointy things. I took Younger Kiddo and friends, Work Friend, his wife who is also and henceforth to be known as Adventure Friend, and their kiddo with me. Well… I didn’t “take” them, they came too since it was free and on campus.

Also, the QTC scheduler set my appointment for the Monday of Spring Break. Magically their computer found 2 providers in my area... go fig.

That thing arrived

Me: That thing arrived, what do you want me to do with it?

Sister: So, here is the thing. I was trying to surprise you with a genetics kit, but I was price shopping the tests and such, but this company charged me and I didn't realize it until after it happened.  I am working on getting a refund because I don't think the hidden fees making the total $200 per kit is fair.  I want I think instead to get the 23 and Me kit from Walmart or something. They are supposed to send me return/refund information, but the lady is going to let me know if the kits need to be returned or not, or if they can just refund and disable the kit numbers.

Me: Put it in a safe place until I know what to do with it?

Sister: (about an hour later) So, I have a choice for you.  I already paid for the kits (thank you tax return) and I have the email n how to return the kits, but I think you would have to pay the return shipping... which is bullshit.  If you would rather open your kit, do the spit sample, and send it???

Me: You bought it, your call.

Sister: Do it.

I did it… now we wait and see...

Also, this happened today:

Our university president at a meeting this morning said that students and employees who are not feeling well and are exhibiting signs and symptoms of illness are advised to stay home and faculty are asked to not hold this against anyone for attendance purposes. You do not need a doctor's note, but you do need to contact your instructor/employer and let them know and you are responsible for making up missed work.

Have you been watching the news about this coronavirus thing? I get a daily email from the NY Times, their map is kinda scary. I wouldn’t wanna be overseas right now, that’s for sure.

FML. OMG. WTF.

FML. 
My part-time job is working for a church and I completely forgot that it is Ash Wednesday and didn't make the bulletins. I guess it's a good thing that they are forgiving people. Thankfully, they were actually really cool about it.

OMG.
We got the tax return and being able to pay all of our overdue bills was a huge weight off.

WTF. 
Sister: If you get a genetic company box this week don't open it.  They screwed up, I need to return it. I was price shopping and they charged me for it. They sent it even after I canceled it.

I'm gonna take a selfie with the Bronze Fonz

Slower day at work so I decided to look on Google maps at the hotel I'm staying at for the conference. It's right near the riverwalk in Milwaukee and has a nearby Starbucks, muahahahahaha. I'm gonna take a selfie with the Bronze Fonz... apparently, that's a thing on the riverwalk.

I was ready to shank people

I called to get my VA claim eval appointment rescheduled from when it was canceled on Jan 29 since it’s been a hot minute and I haven’t heard anything. It turns out that the VA Hospital near me no longer has a provider that can do that evaluation. They farmed it out to QTC, a scheduling company, 2 weeks ago. I got their number from the VA and called them.

The rep on the phone was nice enough but kept saying there is no provider available for that exam within 500 miles of where I live and that's why they haven't scheduled me yet. That is fucking bullshit. I am not ashamed to admit I cried on the phone, at work, and didn't give a shit who saw. I was ready to shank people. My anxiety was so high.

And then one of the faculty who doesn’t even work in my department needed help with something. She came around behind my desk to look over my shoulder. That right there is a big-time discomfort for me, borderline triggering on its own, but in the mental state I was in, it was all I could do to keep from smacking her.

To make it worse, her colleague was standing at the open end of the U shape made by my desk, the wall behind me, and the extended part of my desk/counter, essentially blocking me from being able to leave. Now, I know they would not actually block me or harm me, but that is now when I am thinking rationally and no longer triggered. At that moment though…

Thankfully, one of my coworkers who knows my history came in and saw the scene. He gave me a look. One that said “you know where to find me,” and left my office. I finished what those other two needed as fast as I could and booked it to his office. Good friends are very helpful when you need to come down from a panic attack.

Doing nothing productive

A whole weekend of doing nothing productive. It was glorious.

Saturday - Played Minecraft with younger kiddo and registered for the conference for the regional 3MT

Sunday - Bought new food for the 🐢 🐢 and they like it!

We have a pair of juvenile (1.5 yr old) sulcatas, George and Tortellini. My goal is to eventually build them a nice habitat in the backyard because they are growing super fast. I just need to get the finances together.

Totes me on Saturday

Gonna be epic

Sister J: Booked my flight, May 8th-May11th

Me: Yaaassss... J Sunday!!!!

Sister J: a whole day of let's see how much trouble we can get into… that or we just go to the zoo



Our niece’s graduation is gonna be epic!

Need Info? Just Ask!

Last week at the meeting for our university’s LGBTQ student organization, the coordinator for our campus’ Green Dot program came to observe and learn about our community. Afterward, he asked if we could meet to discuss ways he could make what he does more inclusive.

This is how it starts! You seek out someone who maybe knows more about a thing and just ask if they wouldn’t mind having a chat.

Today I met with him and we had a very nice conversation. We discussed what the program is already doing to be more inclusive and also came up with some changes and suggestions for improvement. I love that my research is starting to have small impacts on campus. Every little bit helps make our campus more inclusive and therefore a better, safer place for all of our students.

Oh... yeah... and yesterday I said to hell with my lactose intolerance and had a Shamrock Shake... mmmm... minty...

Sometimes life rocks

I have so many rocks from so many places I have never been because they were given to me by my offspring. Not just as children, they still do it...

Older kiddo brought me rocks from the beach in Spain when he was there on a layover while in the military. He also brought me rocks from Bahrain, which is where he was stationed. I have rocks in jars from when they were young.

I even have a rock on my desk at work that has a heart on it that was naturally put there. My kiddo found it that way and brought it to me. It has since been given a name that is written on the sticky note on which it sits.

Today younger kiddo brought me a new rock!

He survives another day…

02/15/20 Watched TV and played games
02/16/20 Got my 3MT PPT revised and I love it.

Someone in my family thinks they are clever. I had a box of 4 danishes, of which I had eaten 2. This morning, that box had 3 in it and was backward on the spot where I had put them. Someone clearly ate the other two and then went and got more hoping I wouldn't notice, lmao.

The best part is I know exactly who it was, just waiting for him to fess up. Younger kiddo spent the night somewhere else and doesn't drive. The niece is at her boyfriend’s and has the flu. Bigger kiddo would have left a sticky note apologizing for eating them. That leaves ONE person (hubs).

He fessed up, btw, LMAO. He not only replaced the eaten danishes but added an extra box, he survives another day…

Lessons from my kiddo

02/12/20 Booked flight to Milwaukee
02/13/20 Feeling strong after putting away groceries by myself.


Younger kiddo was in human prehistory class (anthropology major) and was telling me about how women's periods don't actually sync up. Apparently, it's a myth based on a study done in the 60s that no one has been able to replicate. What actually happens is that women in collective groups who are going through the same stressors and eating the same or similar food will biologically respond to those stressors. That response results in changes in menstrual cycles which then just appear to be in sync.

I love when I learn new things from my kids!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!

I WON the 3MT!

Now I get to go represent my university in Milwaukee in April at the regional 3MT. I especially love that that means all of those people have to listen to me talk about the importance of faculty use of gender-inclusive practices.

My sister asked me for a one-sentence summary of my thesis.

Faculty are expected to be inclusive and aren't being taught how to do this but once made aware of the implications and best practices, adapt willingly and, in most cases, immediately.

Lunch with my kiddo

I actually took my lunch break today. I have a tendency to not do that. I went to the library with younger kiddo and had a bagel, then walked my kiddo to class and stopped by the Registrar and picked up my diploma. Then I went to the student union to go to the bank to get grocery money. Then I played lots of Harry Potter before returning to my office.

My leg is screaming but it felt good to get up and walk around.

Dancing under the Moon

Lunch Date

I finally got around to using the gift certificate that I had for a local cafe. Everyone raves about this place, but I have to admit, it's not my favorite place. They use pesto or nuts in a lot of their dishes, so I’m allergic to like 75% of the menu. It was still a nice chance to get out and have a date with the hubs.

All the goats

GET THIS SHIT!!!! I just had a faculty member ask me how they should respond to a GRAD student who is complaining that a THREE-page paper is too much for GRAD work. LMFAO.

After I responded with "LMAO" I told them to send an email to the program coordinator and copy the chair to provide a definitive response from the program. It makes me wonder how that person ever got through undergrad. My work baby overheard the conversation and was practically rolling.

Also, a word from my sister:
“When I retire and come out there to make your life miserable, you know, I'm going to fucking buy all the goats from the Ag Department of your local high school.”

She was drinking… I fixed her spelling so you can read it...

Fascinating conversation

I received the email, I am officially in the finals for the 3MT competition!!

Also, I had a fascinating conversation with one of my work babies about the cultural significance of hair. It was so neat to get her perspective on it since we have such different cultural backgrounds. I love being able to learn from the students with whom I work.

Riled up at work

So, I work for a university, in case you couldn’t figure that out. From time to time I will use this blog to kvetch about things that rile me up and/or set me off. I will always do my best to protect the identities of those involved but if you think a post is about you, perhaps you should ask yourself why. Today’s post is an example of this.

A faculty member wants to use the conference room. Doesn't ask "is it available?" just says "I need this today at this time" (note the lack of forewarning, one of my triggers is last-minute changes, btw). Well, the conference room is booked for that time and has been for weeks, but of course, they don't bother to check that shit. So then the faculty member wants to use one of the offices up near me to meet with a student. I explain that said office has no chairs and offer a workable alternative and the faculty member is pretty much demanding that I be sure it's set up for said meeting. Um... excuse me... moving crew is not in my job description and goes against my disability accommodations. I mean, I get it, some students are scary but damn, maybe set up the meeting with me BEFORE you set it up with the student to be sure the space you want is available.

*deep breath*

Find something positive.

Still managed to get things done despite a craptastic start to the day.

I blew that sucker out of the water

3MT competition preliminary round was this morning.

I blew that sucker out of the water.

The final round is on the 11th, so I'm letting my brain rest for now on that.

Congrats Chiefs!!

Saturday I bought myself a new shirt for the 3MT competition. This is big, I don’t usually like to buy clothes, let alone for myself, so it was a little nerve-wracking. I feel like I earned this though.

Also, on Sunday, younger kiddo watched the Super Bowl with me and got into the game! They asked all kinds of questions about the game and it was neat to be able to share what limited football info I know.

Congrats Chiefs!!

If knowledge is caffeine, faculty are baristas.

Preparing for the 3MT competition. The preliminary round is February 3rd. Making my slide and writing my presentation, I came up with a catchphrase for my thesis:

If knowledge is caffeine, faculty are baristas.

The slide image is a collection of different kinds of Starbucks style cups with gender identities instead of names. My speech compares using gender inclusivity to getting coffee orders right.


Also, this afternoon, I managed to walk all the way home from work despite sciatica.

She's still at it

Sister J: Aunt G talk to you? Apparently, the sister is up to it again. I will forward it to you.

Aunt G: Hi there, know it's late & youre prob in bed.  Just talked to [cousin], he heard from [Sister B].  She said you've all turned on her, won't speak to her.  Won't give her share of stuff.  Said [our dad] wanted his truck to go to [Sister B’s kid] but [I] took it.  Said you & [me] won't follow [Dad’s] wishes on where he wanted his stuff to go.  I told him she's wrong & the rest of u r being fair. [Sister B] told [cousin] she misses her dad, her mom is real sick with kidney disease, she feels all alone.  I told him this was her doing & all of u have been fair.  Well, it will clear up when house is sold in Idaho. How IS [our mom]?  Is she in hospital?

Sister J: Had we given the truck to her she would have had to pay the remaining balance, register it, and show proof of insurance, and the transfer of title and ownership would have to happen at the close of the estate.  That hasn't happened yet, not until all debts have been settled.  Legally, it could not go to [Sister B’s kid] because there was no will.  [Sister B] is still mad because she didn't get her way.  She is still trying to paint herself as a victim.

Me: Mom's fine, she was in the ER for a bit because of kidney probs, but all the tests came back negative so they sent her home. [Sister B] is just playing for sympathy.


Yeah… this is still happening… sigh

The upside for today:
I made the person in the bathroom stall next to me gag and it was someone who regularly irks me; does that count as an accomplishment?

One thing after another

The VA called while we were driving, halfway there, in a fucking snowstorm. They said the provider is sick so they canceled my appointment. Apparently, they only have one mental health doctor at the VA hospital now.

So, the VA Hospital has to send the appointment request back to the VA Claims Division to let them know that the appointment was canceled so they don't penalize me for not seeing the provider today. The Claims Div will then send a new order to the Hospital to set up my new appointment. While I know that seems like unnecessary steps, I do get it from a budgetary and paperwork perspective, thanks to my job. And while I am frustrated that I have to wait to do this all over again, I understand with the flu running around and whatnot. I'm not mad at the VA or even the doctor, I'm mad at the government for not properly funding the VA such that this problem happened.

As far as my back is concerned, my doc said the x-ray does show further disc degeneration, specifically in L4-L5, as well as a new disc problem at L5-S1, both of which explain the sciatic pain. She put me on prednisone to help with reducing the inflammation so I can do physical therapy to help with the pain. In the meantime, I'm supposed to alternate between acetaminophen and ibuprofen and use ice packs and a heating pad but it could take several weeks to see improvement.

She decided we needed to talk about my weight and how "as we age, our bodies don't cooperate as much and we need to feed them right." Then she basically poked the bear trying to find out about my history with obesity and since I was already in a bad place (she had asked about my dad just before that), I figured fuck it, she asked for it. I explained how my weight struggles started after what happened to me when I was in the Navy, gave her a brief overview without the gory details, let her mind fill in the blanks.

Food is one of my coping skills, among others which, admittedly, are not healthy. While I'm still struggling mentally and now physically, taking away that coping mechanism is not something I am prepared to do.

She took the smart choice and dropped the subject for now.

You're lucky you got me...

(it's week three of the semester)

Student: I need to be put in this class

Me: I will need you to email the instructor to get permission, and then they will copy me on the email so I can put you in the class

Student: ok, cool, thanks so much

Me: No prob. (hangs up the phone, it rings again, different person with a serious problem that takes me 30 minutes to assist with)

Email: (20 minutes into call, professor grants permission)

Phone: (2 seconds after email, caller ID shows it's said student from before)

Work Baby: (answers phone, takes down name and number, explains I am on phone)

Me: (as soon as off phone, enrolls student and sends a confirmation email and then calls student back) Hi, this is ME, I'm looking for STUDENT.

Student: I just wanted to be sure you saw the email.

Me: oh yeah, I'm sorry, I was on the phone right after I got off the phone with you but did see the email and you're already enrolled, I sent you a confirmation email

Student: oh ok

Me: (hangs up the phone, speaks to no one in particular) how about next time you give me more than 10 minutes, you're lucky you got me and not someone else who woulda made you wait 2 days.


Added this song to my work instrumentals playlist. You're welcome.
https://open.spotify.com/album/6xX6WfTtbn0ze2DRQUfrJc?highlight=spotify:track:0u56gM9cyaZynywe8An0RE

Not even gonna get thrown under that bus

I have a class set up in the system as being an on-campus/practicum course because it ported in that way from Spring last year. I only JUST got told it's supposed to be online and there are 15 students in it.

I tried to explain that in order to change it to an online course, I will need to drop all 15 currently enrolled students from the course one at a time, change the course itself, and enroll all 15 back into the course one at a time. That also means that all 15 students will be assessed an additional $50/credit hour fee for an online course. Given that financial aid disbursements have already gone out, this could be problematic for the students in this course.

It’s week three of the semester. The program coordinator should have caught that when the schedule was being set up back in September. This makes me look like I set up the course wrong. I checked; it was that way last Spring so it’s not my fault since I didn't set those courses up. It still makes me look bad which pisses me off.

The program coordinator signed off on the spreadsheet. If they don’t know what a code means, they need to ask. I even went a step further and saw that the course in question was that way in Fall 2018, 2019, and 2020, meaning it has been this way for two years.

Also, did I mention I’m stressed for Wednesday’s appointment? Yeah…

Positive: as a thank you for helping another office on campus, they gave me a gift card to Jimmy John’s… yay free food

May is like...

I spent the weekend in a mental health funk. Thankfully my kiddos helped cheer me up on Saturday. On Sunday, my sister suggested that I need to do a 10 piece puzzle since I wouldn’t get frustrated there. That or “go watch the Dodo and give into the weepies.”

She then outlined the plans she has for this summer, starting with her coming to visit in May for our niece’s college graduation. She plans to drink, eat chips, and get absolutely CHIP faced. “If we are not hungover at the graduation, then we have not done it right.”

She also said that May is like “foreplay for the fuckery we will do in July.” We plan to take Dad’s ashes on a road trip to Badlands, Yellowstone, Rushmore, and multiple points in between before we end up in Newport Beach where he wanted his ashes to be scattered. We will charter a boat to do that last part since it’s illegal to just dump them in the ocean off the shore.

Is this thing on?

Made this yesterday, forgot to post it...

Recipe from my sister

Today started out nice and quiet. I followed it up by having a solo night with junk food since hubs was with a paramour. Then my sister sent me the following recipe:

Step 1: Sautee mushrooms, an onion, and garlic together.

Step 2: Cook up some sausage fresh from the AG dept pigs.

Step 3: add a can of corn tot he sausage and simmer.

Step 4: add the mushroom mixture, Oh, which were sauteed in "Tuscan olive oil" La de da

Step 5: pour in 2 cans of beef gravy

Step 6: add 4 cups of water and one Lipton beef onion packet

Step 7: add some leftover shells because I used 2 cheese packets on the mac and cheese the other day

Step 8: let it simmer

Step 9: watch any I'm a Survivor Animal Sanctuary videos I've missed in the past week

Step 10: Don't freak out over the fact that I am now in charge of an additional test and have 2 months to get done a 3 part whole group and 1 part one on one test for 343 students.

Ball of emotion

Positives for Missing Days:
01/20/20 My kids' comments on social media show me I'm a good mom.
01/21/20 Leg hurting a lot but everyone is very supportive
01/22/20 Sister sent me Google play cards


Today: 
My VA claims eval is next week. I am hopeful they'll be able to see my PTSD for the monster it is. I figured I would warn you in case I start being all raging stupid and unreasonable since I may be triggered afterward. I get super short-tempered and sometimes downright mean and other times am just a ball of emotion and cry at dumb shit.

I had someone come in and ask if I could help with the audio in the conference room (I have no fucking clue on that) and I said I didn't know, to ask the tech. Five minutes later, someone from the same meeting came in and asked the same damned thing. Like I'm gonna know what I didn't know before in only 5 minutes when I'm already up to my eyeballs trying to enroll students.

Did we ever have this kind of fear

Another chat with my sister... She was preparing to take her students (she teaches high school) to a Stop the Bleed training. One of her worst fears is that they will need to use that knowledge in the school environment. I don't blame her for that fear, not one bit.

Sister: One of my fondest memories of you is trying to do a Bob Ross painting while he talked us through it on PPBS.

Me: Every time I hear anything Bob Ross related, I have that memory and it is just a golden spot in our childhood, which is part of why I gave you that calendar, it's a constant reminder for me.

Sister: How do I hold it together, living with the fear of what might happen, knowing that I will have at least one group of students who are not mature enough to understand how important this is?  I plan to go on one of my preps when I don't have kids, so I can really concentrate and learn, but how do I not throttle a kid when they think this is all a joke?

Me: Maybe assign a writing assignment on times when knowing how to stop traumatic bleeding could be encountered, make THEM realize the importance. Tell them about the assignment, then take roll, then take them to the gym for the presentation.

Sister: When we were in school, did we ever have this kind of fear?

Me: Nope, never

Positive takeaway - at least she is helping them be prepared and not helpless

Validated in the media

I've been watching a show on Netflix called Sex Education. Season 2, Episode 4 has a beautiful scene of a teenager thinking she's broken because she doesn't want to have sex. The sex therapist character explains that she is not broken, that she is asexual and that is ok. It was just beautiful to watch the character come out of her shell!!!

I am asexual. Seeing that not only represented but also validated was monumental.

Sister Date

We’re having a snow day tomorrow so before I am homebound, my sister and I had a sister date. We picked a movie we both wanted to see that was showing at theatres near us at around the same time. We then each bought our tickets and went to see the movie and planned to discuss it after. Problem is, they changed the time on her movie, so she had to go have dinner first. I then went and had dinner after my movie and we chatted after that.

We saw Dr. Doolittle. It was cute, I really liked it. We are planning to do future sister dates to see Call of the Wild in February and Mulan in March.

Productive Meeting

Ok, before I recount today, I need to say that yesterday I discovered that my heating pad helps the sciatica. That was totes my positive for yesterday.

Now, onto today.

Background info: I graduated in December with my EdS in Technology and Occupational Education. My area of emphasis is Student Development. My thesis was researching the use of gender-inclusive practices among faculty. My major findings are that faculty want to be inclusive, they just don’t know how and they don’t know where to find the information.

I met with the Provost this morning about the findings and recommendations in my thesis. The meeting was also supposed to include the President but he was on the phone following the budget meeting in the state capital from yesterday and sent his apologies. I feel positive about the meeting and hope that the administration follows up with what we discussed.

The Provost said that he believes this is timely information and falls in line with the efforts the university is working toward in their strategic planning efforts. Some of the things he agreed are easy and necessary steps toward a more inclusive climate include the addition of inclusivity expectations in college meeting visits at the beginning of the year, establishing a list of inclusivity best practices to share with faculty, and adding discussion of inclusive practice expectations in new faculty orientation. He agreed that we need training opportunities for faculty on their role in student development and how even the perceptions of their actions contribute or detract from student success.

He asked me if there is a campus diversity climate measurement available. I told him about the Campus Pride Index as one resource that measures campus perceptions and efforts toward LGBTQ inclusivity. He said that he would like to see one that measures campuses on all aspects of diversity and, if we can’t find one, we should make one. He wants to see our school rank highly on being a place where students of diversity can feel welcome and accepted.

Additionally, we talked about the diversity resources available to students on campus. He specifically said he is interested in doing things and not just saying them so that we leave legacies that change the campus. Included in that discussion was our multicultural center and the transition it recently went through. He agrees that staffing the center with one half-time director and minimal ($5000) budget is not sufficient for establishing and maintaining a climate of inclusivity.

Before we concluded the meeting, he stated that he would like to have a follow-up meeting with our student affairs officer to explore that resource in greater detail. He would also like my input on the upcoming campus climate survey with regard to the questions on diversity and inclusivity. I told him that I am looking forward to supporting our university in its journey toward embracing inclusivity as a climate.

I am optimistic about the meeting and hope to see some changes starting as a result.

My ass-kicking leg is still good

I suppose I should have given some background on yesterday’s post. Guess what I developed over the holidays: motherfucking sciatica. My left leg alternates between feeling like it's in a vice or feeling like it is being daggered. At least my ass-kicking leg is the right one and it's still good.

I do yoga on Tuesdays so I went into it hoping that would help. Guess what… nope. Made it worse even. I did, however, reward myself with Chipotle using the gift card my boss gave me for Christmas. So that was cool. I do love free food.

I love my work babies!

I'm making jokes and shit all day about my leg but it hurts so bad it makes dealing with the other shit hard. It’s only the first day of Spring classes and I'm already salty. I just wanna cry. I'm living on a steady diet of ibuprofen and I know that's not good for me. At least sitting with my left leg up under me relieves it or I'd be tempted to start throwing things at people when they come in my office.

Ok… refocus… find the positive...

Today was also the first day of work for my new work babies! I adore my student workers. I can already tell you these two will be fantastic. I miss all the ones I have had in the past. I still stalk… er… I mean… follow them on social media. I love my work babies!

Netflix & Kiddo!?

When you go to the campus bookstore at 11:30 to get your niece's textbooks for her but it's not open until noon but you remember that you have money on your Starbucks card = win.

We got snow on the 11th, which was very nice and definitely my positive for the day. As a result, I spent all day today hanging out with my younger kiddo watching Netflix, so that was totally my positive that day. I love days I can spend with my kiddos.

Cold Showers

Our hot water heater is kinda old. Not crazy old, but old enough that we really should replace it if we had the money. Sadly, we do not. So when it started leaking this week it kinda threw things off. Thankfully, we managed to find the part to fix it on Amazon for less than half of the retail cost. Hubs also managed to make enough doing DoorDash this week to pay for the part, so that is another plus.

In the meantime, it’s like that day in Basic Training all over again, when we had no hot water but still had to shower… brrrrr.

Also, here are my positives from the past days that I skipped:
01/07/20 - I am excited to start my new student workers next week!
01/08/20 - I was able to help a lot of students today and that felt great.

Sister Chat...

Chatting with my sister on messenger...

Formal probate sucks

I am the oldest of four. I have two sisters and one brother, in that birth order. #3 is the one in Cali who I am close to. #2 is in Arizona and is, well… you’ll see. #4 is the brother who is a nomad and lives in Arizona doing his own thing.

Our dad passed away in August and it’s been a journey. He was diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer in mid-July. The last text I received from him is dated July 29. He had a stroke that night and was hospitalized. By then the cancer had metastasized to his bones, liver, kidneys, and lymph nodes. Thanks to the generosity of some of my coworkers, yes some of the ones who drive me nuts, I was able to be there by his bedside on August 6. He passed very early on the morning of the 7th.

He did not have a will and none of us really knew what to do. We did have a “conversation” about his wishes on the 6th. I used quotes because he couldn’t actually speak but he was able to communicate through sounds and gestures. I also have no doubt he was in his right mind. After spending the next 2 weeks in Arizona packing up his belongings and starting the process for managing his estate, I headed home. #2 was adamant that Dad had wanted her to have his truck. In actuality, it was supposed to go to my son, but since he died intestate, I was/am required by law to maintain custody of all of his belongings until the estate is settled or I am advised by an attorney that I can do otherwise. She refused to see that I was legally bound and decided that instead, she would contest the probate.

Because of this, we are now in the midst of formal probate. Dad owned a house in Idaho, so that’s where the probate is being handled. Thankfully, I was able to find and retain a very nice attorney. Today he called and our conversation really put my mind at ease about the financial situation of the estate. He also said I should email my siblings to let them know where things stand, so I did.

Oh, and I did see Star Wars yesterday and I liked it!

You need to be our Rick

Once in a while, my sister and I have some interesting text chats. She lives in California, I am in Missouri. She is my best friend and our relationship is nothing short of insane. Rather than paraphrase these conversations, I’m just gonna post them now and then. 


Sister: You ever wonder how different your life would be if you would have made different decisions at the key points?

Me: all the fucking time

Sister: It may sound fucking insane, but if a major earthquake happened, I am heading your way. If one of those "get the fuck out of California" events happened. But if like a Zombie Apocalypse happens, where do we both meet up if neither CA or MO is safe, where do we go? Denver? Large population cities are not safe. I would say St. George, CO. Penguin and I have been there, an old mining town. In “The Stand'' they ended up in CO, the good people did. Promise me, if CA and MO are bad enough, we will slay dragons together, with those we care about, in St. George. I will bring my Land-fam, you bring our-fam, we meet there, that is our backup,

Me: Sounds like a plan, lol.

Sister: I keep enough here to keep me alive for 3 days. I can keep my land fam going for 3 days if needed...all of them. I will bring my closest too. I will be their "Daryl". You need to be our Rick.


Ok, sis... but you better stay in the house... don't be a Carl...

I am going by myself

My sister sent me some cash and said I have to spend at least $10 on myself. Well then, since the hubs will be off with one of his paramours*, I am taking myself to see the new Star Wars movie and I am going by myself. So there.


*if you want more details on this, please ask

Free Dinner for the DD

Today I heard from the Provost's admin assistant. I will be meeting with both the President and Provost on the 16th to discuss my recommendations from my thesis. In my ideal world, we sit down and chat and they say "hey, how about we give you a job here doing this stuff." Coincidentally, that is my kiddo’s birthday, the child who inspired my passion.

Also, the VA called today, my evaluation for my disability claim is scheduled for the 29th. Unfortunately, it is not with my regular therapist. The idea of having to recount things to a stranger is terrifying but the possibility of finally being validated for what happened to me is something I need right now. I know it happened, but I need the military to acknowledge it.

This evening, my older kiddo took me out to eat. He said if I would be his DD, he’d buy me dinner. Of course! I got to hang out with my kid and got free dinner out of the deal.

A More Personal Touch

TRIGGER WARNING

Several years ago, back when I was in the Navy, I suffered at the hands of my ex. I just heard from the VA, because my case involves sexual trauma they will process it a little differently, using a more personal touch, which is nice. They are going to set up my evaluation appointment with the VA Hospital and, if possible, with my regular therapist since she already knows my history to save me having to recount everything to a stranger. I really appreciate that they're doing it that way.

Today’s positive: the way the VA is handling this

Also, here’s a song for you:
https://open.spotify.com/track/5TjSlSi3vAs3aT8OgLX9cG?si=MWm5Jc1eTqKp6s9p0FasBw

Pres in my corner

In a funk of depression, because I can't fucking pay my bills because someone still doesn't have a fucking job (not me, I have two), I started looking at jobs in my fields at other institutions. I am in the process of applying for 13 other jobs at schools in Colorado, Nevada, and California. If I'm gonna do a life change, I'm gonna do it big.

With some of the positions I applied for, part of me is very hopeful, another part is very skeptical and believes they already have someone in mind, but as a trusted advisor said, they could be wanting to go a different direction than the current interim and if nothing else, it's a great opportunity to polish my resume.

The worst they can say is no and I'm right where I am and all it cost me was the time to do the app and make my resume purty. On the plus side, the president of the university said he’d be happy to be one of my references and write me a letter of recommendation if I get that far. Also, he and I are gonna have a sit down to go over the recommendations from my thesis, which I consider a HUGE win.

So that is today’s positive: Pres in my corner

Why I Am Starting This Blog...

I could start off with an about me entry but let’s be honest, no one's gonna come all the way back here to read this post. So instead, I’ll start off with why I’m making this blog.

My kiddo and I are doing a thing this year that we saw on social media. Every day we will write down one positive thing that happened. That way, when things seem crappy later, we have a nice set of memories to reflect on to make ourselves feel better. I was going to just use an app, and I will use one, but I also thought a blog would be neat. I used to have a blog, many years ago. It was very therapeutic. I probably won’t actually post every day, but I will make notes in my app and then write some backdated posts to make it look like I did because yeah, that’s how this is gonna roll and I am not gonna apologize for it.

My New Year's Resolution is to take a great big dose of "not responsible for anyone's shit but my own" and stop letting myself get dragged down by other people not taking care of their shit. This past year was garbage. This next year is mine and I will make it my bitch.